Mar 12, 2013

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It’s Too Late Baby, But I’d Still Like This in HQ

I was listening to music on my mythical blue iPod Touch a few days ago and I re-stumbled upon Jessie And The Toy Boys, more specifically her/their Show Me Your Tanlines EP.  Especially the song “Money Makes The Girl Go Round.” And after I listened to all five tracks and the kind of tacky remix, I got bored and I wanted to know what Ms. Jessie Toy Boy was up to.  Unfortunately, it’s not much.  Music-wise, the last official release is from August (and I am too lazy to stalk her Twitter for any new tracks at the moment) and it was this:

Now, I love Jessie.  She is a fairly brilliant popstar.  She was 1/3 of the brilliant band Shut Up Stella who had these brilliant songs.

But why would you release the above when you have an absolute MONSTER of a song in this one below:

So “Hit Man” is a few years old?  But back in the day, it was better than the first single, “Push It.”  Most people would agree.  I mean, “Push It” is amazing in how it’s  “a love song about sex” at the same time as being “a sexy song about love.”  But that is kinda it.

And to follow “Push It” with “Let’s Get Naughty” didn’t do any favors.  Even though the “It’s a dream when you touch me there” post-chorus part sounds absolutely amazing, and the song is overall kinda fierce, the “all my hoes / touch your toes” part is obnoxious and pretty much tailor-made for the party girl whose night needs a much better soundtrack than what she’s currently listening to.

And finally “On With My Bad Self” is kind of…pretty much…terrible.  To be completely straightforward, there is nothing redeemable about it.  It does not have a soaring chorus to redeem only semi-passable lyrics or a video that doesn’t make people cringe when they see it.  It almost makes you wonder where it went wrong.

There is an elegance to “Hit Man” and even “Push It” to an extent that mixes what people see as negatives of pop music (“the trash”) with sweetness.  And her personality/pop persona comes across as being someone you kinda want to hang out with because your night would be awesome.  “On With My Bad Self” turns her into that awkward girl screaming for attention that you really don’t want to hang out with because you know you’d both get arrested for cocaine possession.  Mostly because she’d be the one yelling to the cops that “we have it on us!!!”

In short, I hope 2013 brings great things from Jessie.  Especially new music I can legally acquire.  However, all I’m saying is that if I don’t get a HQ version of “Hit Man” either on a new EP or that ever-out-of-reach-album that I’m going to be disappointed.  It is probably too late for “Hit Man” to be a single.  Or to make waves as introducing the average Joe and Johanna to Jessie And The Toy Boys.  But it is a brilliant song.  And it was a huge mistake not to release/launch the project with it in the first place.


Also: Jessie And The Toy Boys, Jessie and The Toy Boys (Amazon), Jessie And The Toyboys (have unfortunately seen it this way), Jessie & The Toy Boys (see the first of the above videos)…It makes it incredibly difficult to Google properly.  This needed to be sorted out ages ago.

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Feb 20, 2012

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Y’all I have a music dilemma.

Most of the time, I can pick a good song of the radio after hearing it for exactly 2 seconds.  The only exceptions would be the strange outliers like Madonna’s new single “Give Me All Your Luvin’” which sounded good when I first heard the snippet at the “give me all your luvin'” part in the chorus, and later at Nicki Minaj’s part.  But after one full run-through, I found it to be completely terrible everywhere else.  Do we really need a chant of “L-U-V MADONNA Y-O-U YOU WANNA” in a 2012 pop song?  Especially by the Queen of Pop Music?

But the terrible Madonna song aside, my magic voodoo powers/good song pop-o-meter are all out of sync when it comes to “Glad You Came” by The Wanted.

Q: Is it a good song?

A: I have no idea.  I sure did spend all Wednesday night dying to listen to it for an hour while my computer’s speakers were all out of wack.


Okay, so let’s discuss this.  It sounds like a mix between “Stereo Love” by Edward Maya featuring Vika Jigulina and “You Make Me Feel…” by Cobra Starship featuring Sabi.  The latter makes sense because they were both co-written and produced by Steve Mac.  Now is this a good thing or a bad thing?  Maybe a little of both?

Now, it’s bad because when I first heard it, I thought it was a new song by Cobra Starship, which would be not only disappointing and bad if I decided to first check out the band on YouTube before I Googled the song lyrics I could remember.  It’s just not cool when a song sounds like some other artist.  I mean, it’s great for trying to describe the sound to someone else, but not when you’re constantly reminded of the other artist while listening to it.  And also, what if I went to iTunes and wanted to download the song, only to fall in love with the actual new Cobra Starship single and choose to spend my $0.99 on that?  I also am a little upset that yet another song is using the combination of a dance beat with a repeated sample by an accordion.  Trend hopper.  Lastly, I have a problem with the vocals in that they are a little “thin” or “talky” at places, which is okay, but slightly grating at times.  It’s like, “Just SING to me sexy boy-band boy.  I don’t need to be talk-sung to.”

But on the other side, the “talky” vocals are British, y’all.  A British accent always positively improves overall song delivery.  And hopping on the trend works well on the radio because it sounds like a mix of the two.  (More airplay!  Yay!)  The song also sounds like 2011/2012 (it was released in Britain in 2011).  It’s not  a Max Martin clone and it has some unexpected parts about partying, such as “Give you another drink / Drink it if you can” and “I decided you look well on me / Well on me/Let’s go somewhere  where no one else can see / You and me.”  While it sounds like what we’ve heard, it’s not exact.  It feels like home, yet slightly unfamiliar.

However, the biggest plus of all about the song is that it’s titled “GLAD YOU CAME”(!!).  Now, this can be read as sweet, “My universe will never be the same / I’m glad you came.”  Or dirty.  (You don’t really need an explanation for this, do you?)  What is good about innocent-pop-songs-that-sound-dirty-at-the-same-time is that if executed well, is that when they work, they really work.  Not only does it allow for an artist to get more plays, since the innocent will hear it as innocent and the dirty will smirk at the dirty bits.  It allows for that two kinds of reads of pop lyrics-the dirty and the innocent theme-wise.  (For example: “I’ve got a house with windows and doors / I’ll show you mine if you show me yours” from B*Witched’s song “C’est La Vie.”)  But the lyrics are a little sweet too in that they’re saying in a way, “I’m glad you came to the party with me.  That we got to spend this time together.”

When it’s done right, it makes the listener feel smarter because they’ve noticed something.  When it’s done wrong, it ends up like Britney Spears’ “If You Seek Amy,” where the verses make no sense, but “oh my gosh, y’all it sounds like she’s saying something naughty in the chorus.”  Fortunately “Glad You Came” avoids this problem.  The combination of sounding like “Cobra Starship Meets Stereo Love” and a sexual innuendo works for this song, which makes me “Glad I LISTENED to it.”  Just kidding!

I think “Glad You Came” could potentially be in the running for “Song of The Summer 2012.”  If you remember that last year, LMFAO’s “Party Rock Anthem” was released on almost the exact same date on January 25, 2011 (“Glad You Came” was officially released to mainstream US radio on January 24, 2012) and became inescapable over Summer 2011.  The only thing the song has against it is that it was released in the UK in July 2011, so it kind of sounds like Summer 2011, instead of what Summer 2012 should/would be.  Although that’s never stopped a song’s chart performance before.  I’m still out on if I’ll end up hating it after it’s overplayed in six months, but good or bad, I think it’s a pretty good song.  And I don’t feel that bad for liking listening to it.

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Jan 26, 2012

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Finally Back Online, Or Where I Was That Wasn’t On The Internet

I have been the most horrible former DS106-er.  I haven’t blogged in approx. 8 months.  It’s horrible.  And it’s a fact.  And since it’s both horrible and a fact, that makes it a horrible fact, which is even more terrible.  I haven’t updated this blog since April last year and you could completely tell (but hopefully now you can’t tell as much) because of all the spider webs collecting even more dust around the edges to the point that they were threatening to become one whole massive mess of Charlotte’s Web, except it’s me, so it’d be a Colleen’s Web.

But I have been doing things.  Loads of things.  Things I’ll be posting about shortly.  Most likely grouped in monthly installments titled “This Is What I Did In…*insert name of month*”.  I’ve also been trying to add my art and crafts to this site because people keep telling me that I can sell them, but nobody ever offers me money for my work (besides family), so it never happens.  THEREFORE in protest of all the money that I’m not getting from my fabulous ideas, I have determined it would be completely okay to give out my secrets for free.  Besides, your versions will never match up inspire me to make new things and we’ll have this whole inspiration circle of stealing each others designs borrowing ideas love thing going on.

So that’s what I’m doing and currently working on.  It’s still rough around the edges and I’m probably going to have to wait for another month to use more of my free Flickr uploading capabilities, but things are eventually going to happen.  And I’m not going to promise that things will be completely better in the future, since I’m terrible at making New Year’s Resolutions, but I do have a renewed determination to update Something Kinda Ooooh on a regular basis.  Especially since I made it so I own the domain “” for another year.  I’m paying for it, so I have a need reason to do it.  So there.

As for new additions, I’ve also added a “My Infinite Playlist” page, which will eventually list every album I own, as well as a description of when and why I bought it and if it was a good idea to buy it (a modern take).  I’m looking forward to doing that.  Maybe I’ll update the list with a new album description/essay about once or twice a week.  I’d really like to start getting it done because I have probably over 300 albums, so one a week would take me about six years to do?  Which is unacceptable.  Especially since it’s a fact that I have to buy a new album about once every month and a half or so otherwise I’ll go into music withdrawal, and that’s never a good thing.

I’ve also been doing a little more of my Barbie Art photo shoots.  I haven’t finished my “Seven Deadly Sins-Barbie Style!” yet, but I’m working on it.  It’s all a long process.  I have, however, also started a new series inspired by Lady Gaga’s most recent studio album, Born This Way (it will be discussed in the blog post “This Is What I Did In…June”.  As a teaser, I will show you this, which also conveniently gives this blog post a much needed break in text:

Hair Of Glory

I call this photo “Hair of Glory” because her hair just looks so awesome and she seems really happy, you know, for a Barbie doll.  I’ve also posted a few more photos on my Flickr since I couldn’t wait to see them all lit up on my computer screen and I was bored editing all the photos I took in May.  I assure you that the photos I took in May aren’t boring though.  I just really liked the colors and subjects I shot in June.

So that’s all for now and I’ll be back soon.  Unless the Internet goes down.  But what are the odds of THAT happening?

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